Clary's Diary
by zaynlovingpayne
Summary: It was sad to think that she forgot about me. But, that's okay. I know it's my fault why this happened to her. If I wasn't so selfish she wouldn't have done that. I should have noticed how she was hurting. How her happy personality was just a facade.
1. Chapter 1

**Kylie: Here's a new story! A sad one at that!**

**Jace: You're emo...**

**Clary: Quit that, Jace:**

**Jace: Quit what?**

**Clary: Don't assume things.**

**Kylie: Don't worry, Clary, he's right.**

**(I only own these characters in my dreams/fantasies. But let's face it, this is reality so Cassie Clare owns these wonderful characters!)**

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_September 03, 2011_

_Diary,_

_Jace announced to everyone during the party that he and Aline were engaged. I felt my heart break. But I still smiled, clapped, and I even congratulated them. And luckily, I kept myself together until the end of the party._

_When I got home, I cried my heart out. I love him, so much, but he doesn't love me back. He's got Aline now. And I'm happy for him._

_Because I want to see him smile. A true smile._

_And he can only do it with Aline._

_Clary_

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_September 10, 2011_

_Diary,_

_I saw Jace crying today. I asked him what was wrong and he snapped at me. He didn't even apologize._

_He said that he and Aline had a fight, I almost jumped for joy._

_Almost._

_But Jace was unhappy. And I know that I should fix it for him._

_So that he can smile again._

_Clary_

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_September 15, 2011_

_Diary,_

_I did it. Jace and Aline are happy together. They're holding the wedding on the 28__th__. Two days before my birthday. It hurt._

_Jace thanked me for bringing him and Aline back. I smiled at him and said it was 'no problem'._

_But it was. It was a problem. For me._

_Now, my heart was in pieces._

_I didn't care, though. Jace was happy. That was what mattered to me most._

_Clary_

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_September 28, 2011_

_Diary,_

_Today's the wedding. The day that will make Jace the happiest._

_And the day that will break my heart furthermore._

_But as I said before, I don't care. Jace was happy. And he was getting married to Aline. The girl he loves._

_Diary,_

_Only an hour left before the wedding._

_But you wouldn't believe it. I confessed to Jace._

_He smiled at me. And said, "I'm sorry, but I don't love you. I love Aline. And we're getting married, Clary. I don't care. So please quit it. You'll only ruin it."_

_It hurt when he said that. Now, my heart was no more. It disintegrated. Gone with the wind._

_Diary,_

_Jace and Aline left. Heading to their honeymoon. Jace didn't even said good-bye to me._

_I didn't care. I was too busy trying to keep myself together._

_Izzy found me in my room. Cutting. She asked me what was wrong and I answered truthfully._

"_I confessed to Jace. He said he didn't care. He was in love with Aline. I guess I was stupid, huh? To even think that he will remember the promise he made."_

_Izzy didn't answer. She just hugged me._

_Clary_

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_September 30, 2011_

_Diary,_

_Today's my birthday. But I don't care._

_You know why? Jace is so cruel. He kept writing me letters. All they did in their honeymoon. He even told me that they made love._

_I thought I died._

_And I should have. Because it hurt. So damn much._

_But at least he was happy._

_I accepted that he couldn't love me. Because he's got Aline._

_But why does he have to be so cruel? Doesn't he know that I'm already hurting?_

_Clary_

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_October 15, 2011_

_Diary,_

_Why are promises always broken?_

_My mom promised me that she loves me so much. That she'll be always there with me. Beside me._

_And then she left. I've never seen her again._

_My dad promised me that he won't be the same. He won't be like mom. But he committed suicide._

_And I was the one who found him._

_Jon promised that he'll be there. Supporting me. Be with me until Jace comes back._

_But he was killed by a robber. He died protecting me. It was my fault._

_And now, Jace. My best friend. My one true love. He promised, when they were leaving-to go to France, that he'll come back, for me. That he'll marry me. And we will be happy. Together._

_But he broke it. He doesn't even remember the promise he made._

_And he's happy. Happy with Aline. And not me._

_My brother told me once, "You don't have to be so nice. You deserve to be angry, too. People aren't perfect."_

_I answered him, "I don't care, Jon. At least I make them smile. They can be happy."_

_He smiled sadly, "What about you, Clare? Are you happy?"_

_I shook my head, my tears falling down my face, "I don't know anymore. I don't know." _

_I miss him. I miss Jon. He helped me get through life. And now that he's gone. I don't know what to do anymore._

_Izzy and Simon are married. So are Magnus and Alec. They're in love. Happy. Content._

_I wasn't. I was alone. No one to hold me. The only thing I care about now was my blade. He made me feel. He made me feel pain instead of nothingness. And I was thankful for it._

_Clary_

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_October 20, 2011_

_Diary,_

_Jace messaged me again. He told me that Aline was pregnant. I was happy for them. They could have a family._

_I'm now gripping the blade so tight that it was cutting my hand. Deep. But even my blade couldn't help me. I was a void. Empty._

_And I didn't care._

_I want to die. So bad. I don't think I can handle all of this. All my problems. _

_I just can't._

_Clary_

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As I read Clary's diary. I felt guilty.

She did all those things for me. And she never asked anything for return.

She just wanted me to be happy. While she was hurting.

I lied to her. My Clary. I acted like I didn't remember the promise I made. In truth, I was scared. Scared that she doesn't love me anymore. But I was wrong. She loved me, to the extent that she gave up her happiness. So that I could have mine.

I lied to her that me and Aline were happy. Instead, we kept on fighting. She wasn't even pregnant. I'm going to file a divorce.

I heard Izzy cry. She was beside me, reading Clary's diary.

Alec was being held by Magnus, he was crying quietly. For her. My Clary.

We were in the hospital. Waiting for the doctors to fix her. My Clary.

She got into the car crash. Because I called her to pick me up from the airport. I demanded that she pick me up. Even if it was storming. And she said yes.

"_Okay, wait for me there, Jace. I'll pick you up. Smile, Jace. Smile." _Those were her words.

_I waited for an hour, and I called her again. "Hurry up will, you? It's freezing here! You stupid girl!"_

And she didn't even let herself be affected by what I called her._ "It's traffic, Jace. Please wait."_

"_Use route 63," I instructed._

"_But that route is dangerous when raining."_

"_I don't care! Use that route and pick me up!" then I hung up._

_When two hours passed, I decided to call Alec. "Alec, can you pick me up? I'm in the airport. Clary won't pick me up and I'm waiting here for two hours. That stupid bitch."_

_I heard Alec sniffle. "Jace, Clary's at the hospital. She decided to use route 63 and got into an accident. She's bad."_

_I gasped. "Quit joking, Alec, and come pick me up." I hang up._

And here I am, head in my hands. Crying. Clary got into an accident because of me. Clary's life was ruined because of me. And Clary could be dying in the ER, because of me.

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**Kylie: I feel bad about making Clary hurt.**

**Jace: You should be! You made me the one to hurt My Clary!**

**Clary: Did you really think seriously about this story?**

**Kylie: Nope. It just crossed my mind.**

**Jace: So you posted this on impulse?**

**Kylie: Yeap.**

**Jace: You made Clary hurt on impulse?**

**Kylie: Yeap.**

**Jace: *takes out his seraph blade* I'm going to kill you!**

**Kylie: *runs away***

**Jace: *follows after***

**Clary: *sighs* R&R while Jace hunts down Clary! : )**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kylie: Here's chapter two! I posted it the same time as the first one.**

**Jace: I hate you...**

**Kylie: *tears up***

**Clary: *slaps Jace's arm* look at what you've done!**

**Jace: *grumbles* Sorry, Kylie.**

**(I can never own these characters. Cassie Clare's their owner...)**

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**Jace**

It's been two hours, and I'm sitting here beside Clary's bed.

She looked so peaceful when I entered the room.

(If you don't count the bandages wrapped around her head...)

But then I saw it. The jagged scars in her arms. She was cutting.

The doctor told us that her condition wasn't stable. He told us that they had to put a tube in her throat to help her breathe.

My Clary.

My poor Clary.

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_October 25, 2011_

_Diary,_

_Jace called me today, he said that I pick him up at the airport._

_I, of course, said yes._

_It was for Jace. So I'll do it. For him._

_Diary,_

_Jace got mad at me because I was taking too long._

_I told him that there was traffic._

_He instructed that I should take route 63. But that route was dangerous._

_I knew it was stupid to follow him. But it was for Jace. And I'll do it. I love him._

_Clary_

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**Alec**

I sat on the couch in Clary's room, Magnus beside me.

I felt guilty for what I did.

What, you ask?

I knew that Jace was lying to Clary. About him forgetting about his promise. I should know, I'm his best friend.

And it ruined Clary.

I should have told Jace to tell her the truth. But I didn't. I just nodded my head when he told me to keep it a secret.

Clary was one of my childhood friends. She was the one who encouraged me that I should come clean with my parents. To tell them I was gay.

She was also the one who talked with my mother when my mom wanted to disown me. And because of her, my mom accepted me.

She was the one who introduced me to Magnus. And here we are, happy and married.

But I should have noticed how Clary was hurting.

She always knew when I was. Hurting, I mean.

She was there when Max died. She comforted my mom and Izzy.

She was the one who talked to my dad when he wanted to file a divorce. He didn't continue it because of her.

She was the one who helped Simon get with Isabelle.

And they're happy.

But we didn't notice, that out of all of us, she was sad. We thought that she was okay with everything, because she was always smiling.

We never bothered asking.

Clary was strong I knew that, because she conquered all of her problems with flying colors.

When her mom left her, I talked to her about it.

'_It's okay, she must have a reason to leave us. I hope that she'll be well.'_

That was what she said.

When her dad committed suicide, she told me. _'He was sad because my mom left. I should have helped him. I'm a bad daughter.'_

But she wasn't a bad daughter. In fact, she was absolutely great.

When Jonathon died, she said, _'I couldn't protect myself so he protected me. and now, he's dead. He's dead because I'm weak.'_

But that wasn't true. Even though she was left alone, Clary managed to get through school, to find a successful job, and to help us with our problems.

But we didn't help her.

**Isabelle**

I was in the bathroom, I couldn't look at Clary.

Lying in the hospital bed.

I should have stopped her when she said that she would take route 63. But I didn't. And look where it gotten her.

She almost died.

Clary was a strong woman. She was a great friend to all of us.

Alec considered her as a sister.

She was Max's role model when Jace left.

She was a daughter to Mom and Dad.

Simon and I were married because of her.

Alec told me that Jace was lying when he told Clary that he didn't remember about their promise. I didn't tell her because I thought she was happy for him.

I was right, at first.

She was happy for him because she was Clary. Selfless.

But I immediately regretted not telling her when I saw her after Jace's wedding. She was cutting so deep in her arms with her blade that a pool of blood was forming.

'_I confessed to Jace. He said he didn't care. He was in love with Aline. I guess I was stupid, huh? To even think that he will remember the promise he made.'_

That was what she said. And I couldn't bring myself to answer her. I hugged her while she cried.

**Magnus**

There was dead air around the room.

And I understand why.

We were at the hospital. In Clarissa's room.

Funny that the person who has the strongest will power out of all of us was the one who was starting to give up.

I owe my wonderful life to Clarissa.

I got Alexander because of her.

And when we were going to break up because of my ex, Camille, she fixed things for us.

Now, we're happily married.

I know that Alec, too, owed her.

When his family was breaking apart because of Max's death, she was there, helping all of them.

She was, of course, successful. She always was.

Alec was leaning into me, crying, again.

I knew that if Clarissa didn't make it, things would fall apart.

**Simon**

I was sitting on the ground in front of Clary's bed, leaning against the wall. I looked around me, Alec was crying and Magnus was comforting him. Isabelle wouldn't come out of the bathroom and I heard muffled cries inside. Jace held Clary's hand so tightly, it was his life line.

Clary was my best friend. I should have helped her.

But I was so wrapped up in my happy bubble with Izzy that I didn't notice a thing. Not even once.

I was so angry at Jace. How cruel can a single man get?

Everything he has now, his marriage, a wonderful wife, was because of Clary.

He was Clary's first love, Clary's closest friend, and he lied to her.

He should be the one in that bed. He should be the one struggling for his life.

Not Clary.

Because Clary was a great person. She was almost perfect. She never did anything bad to us. She was always there, standing beside us as we struggled through life.

But we weren't there for her as she struggled with hers.

I knew Clary's mom, Jocelyn. She looked exactly like Clary.

Her Dad, too, Valentine, he was such a nice man. A great father he was.

And her brother, Jonathon. He was Clary's rock.

They all left her behind.

Clary's mom left them.

Her dad committed suicide.

Jonathon died because of a stupid robber.

But not once, not once did she cry. Yes she frowned, but she didn't cry.

You know why?

Because Clary was strong. Was.

But because of Herondale, it changed.

Izzy told me that he found Clary crying after Jace's wedding. She was cutting. She told me that it was the first time she had ever seen Clary cry. And it was because of Jace...

I wish I could have helped her like Jonathon did.

He was a great person. The greatest.

And Clary was just like him.

**(No one)**

They all stayed like that for a long time. All crying for Clary.

It was past twelve. The doctor permitted them to stay with her.

They were all quiet when the silence was broken. A person entered the room.

It was Clary's mother, Jocelyn, with an unknown man with her.

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_August 28, 2011_

_Diary,_

_Izzy told me that Jace is back! I was so happy! I couldn't believe it. I've waited for him for six years. And now he's back!_

_But all of my happiness was taken back..._

_He had another girl in his arms, and they both looked happy._

_I couldn't believe it._

_But I know I should._

_Because I knew this is real. Everything was real. The girl in his arms, his smirk, her smile, and the pain in my heart._

_He found someone else._

_But he was smiling now, so I don't care._

_I love him. I love Jace Herondale so I don't care. He was happy, that's all that matters._

_Clary_

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**Kylie: And that's a wrap!**

**Clary: This chapter makes me feel appreciated.**

**Kylie: You think so? And there are some of your diary entries popping out from time to time.**

**Clary: Cool, when are you updating "All Twisted Up"?**

**Kylie: As soon as an idea pops into my sick little head.**

**Clary: Okay. R&R people! : D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Clary: Here's chapter three!**

**Jace: Why are you the one telling them that?**

**Clary: *points at the corner* Kylie's still upset.**

**Jace: But I apologized!**

**Clary: Not about that, stupid.**

**Jace: Then about what?**

**Clary: Dunno,**

**Clary: *takes out a white card* Kylie doesn't own us. Because, in her own words, 'if I do own these characters there'll be a lot of sad scenes in it.**

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_July 4, 2011_

_Diary,_

_Jon died._

_Jon died._

_Jon died._

_Why do I have to be so weak, Diary?_

_Jon would be alive if I wasn't weak. He'd be with me, smiling and making jokes._

_But I wasn't. Strong, I mean._

_He died because he wanted me to be safe. Because he knew I couldn't protect myself against those robbers._

_I was hiding in the basement, in the cabinet there. It only took thirty minutes before I heard gun shots from upstairs._

_I sat there, shaking, scared._

_After about five minutes, I got the courage and went upstairs._

_The sight I saw in the living room made me went numb._

_My brother. My poor, poor Jon lying in a pool of blood._

_I ran towards him and saw a bullet hole on his stomach._

_I took his hand and held it tight._

_Jon's eyes fluttered open. "C-Clare..."_

"_Jon, why did you have to protect me? I'm perfectly capable of myself."_

"_Clary, tell Jace that I said hi..."_

"_You tell him yourself, Jon." I giggled. It was off-tone._

"_I'll be there for you, Clary. Always. I promise that."_

"_Jon, what are you talking about? It's like you're leaving me."_

"_I love you, Clare..."_

_Then his eyes fluttered shut._

_I shook him lightly. "Jon, wake up."_

_Nothing._

_I laughed humorlessly. "Jonathan Christopher, this isn't funny!"_

_Nothing, still._

_I wanted to cry. So badly. I didn't need anyone to tell me that my Jon was gone._

_I shook my head. "Jon, you promised! You promised you'll be there when Jace comes back! Jace isn't here, Jon!"_

"_Why did you have to leave me? Why, Jon? Why?"_

_And I sat there in front of my brother's dead body until the police and paramedics arrived. _

_Alec and Magnus were there with them._

_I still sat in front of Jon while the paramedics put his dead body in a bag. I didn't budge, even a little bit when Alec told me that we should go._

"_Clary, let's go." Alec whispered as he held onto my hand._

_I turned to him. And smiled. Because I can't cry._

_I vowed that to myself. I'll be strong._

"_Alec, he's gone. Jonathan is gone."_

_Magnus sat down beside her and grasped his other hand. "He did it for you."_

_She laughed. But it didn't indicate that she was happy. "I couldn't protect myself so he protected me. And now, he's dead. He's dead because I'm weak."_

_Alec engulfed me in a hug. "You're not weak."_

"_I am. Because if I wasn't, Jon would be alive. He'd be here with us."_

_They didn't say anything after that._

_Clary_

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**Jace**

I gaped openly at the redhead woman in front of us.

"What are you doing here, Jocelyn?" Alec asked. He was the calmest out of all of us.

"I'm here for my daughter." She answered. She and the man didn't move, they just stood there.

"You don't have a right to call her 'daughter', Jocelyn. Not after what you did all those years ago." I growled at her.

"Don't you there use that tone on me, Herondale. I'm still her mother."

"You lost the privilege of being called 'mother' by Clarissa when you left, Jocelyn." Magnus said. His head was not lying on Alec's lap.

"I'm still her mother! And nothing can change that!"

"There are a lot of things that can change that, Jocelyn! One, for the fact that you abuse Clary. And two, you left all of a sudden!" Simon exclaimed, standing up and marching up to Jocelyn.

"Now, now, there's no need for a verbal war here. Let's talk about this nice and calmly." The guy with Jocelyn said, standing between Jocelyn and Simon.

"And who the hell are you?"

"Luke Garroway."

"Well, Luke Garroway and Jocelyn, you two aren't welcome here. So, if you two could us a huge favor, we suggest that you go back where you came from."

"I am still older than you, Lewis. So step out of my way and let me see my daughter up close."

Magnus sighed loudly that all of us could hear. "Will you please SHUT THE FUCK UP? We're all wallowing in sadness here and then you," he pointed at Jocelyn and 'Luke', "Show up here and now we're all fighting! Jesus! If Clarissa saw you right now, you'll all be dead people!"

I smirked at him. "You make a good speech, Mag."

"I'm an expert in public speaking, Goldie. Of course I make a good speech."

"Whatever. I'll come back..." then they were out of the room like a bat out of hell.

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_December 24, 2009_

_Diary,_

_I went over to Alec's apartment today, because he won't answer my calls or reply to my texts._

_I found him in his room, staring off into space while teardrops were falling on his face._

_I asked him what was wrong and he said that he caught Magnus making out with Camille Belcourt, his supposedly ex._

_I told him that I will fix things for him if he stopped crying and smile for me._

_He nodded 'yes'._

_I smiled then hugged him._

_Next, I went over to Magnus'._

_I saw him in front of the fireplace, his head in his hands. He was sobbing quietly._

_I wrapped my arms around him and whispered comforting words, such as 'everything's going to be okay'._

_He asked me if I knew about what happened with Camille. I said 'yes'._

_Even if I didn't ask him out loud, he may have seen the questioning gaze I gave him. So he explained what happened. Everything._

_He said that Camille drugged him on that particular night, and in result, he made out with Camille and Alec saw them._

_I told him to stop sulking and get dressed._

_He shook his head 'no'._

_I asked him why._

"_Because Alec's still mad at me. And there might be a possibility that he is going to throw things at me."_

_I giggled quietly. "On the contrary, Alec's sulking, too. So you're safe."_

"_I still don't want to go, Clarissa."_

"_Magnus, I am not going to talk him into talking to you. That's your part. You are the only one who could fix your relationship with him. And if you don't get up and going, the two of you might drift apart furthermore. So, let's go."_

"_Okay, you make a very convincing speech. Of course, you learned from the best."_

"_Just get ready, Magnus."_

_Thirty minutes later, I was still waiting for Magnus in his living room. So I stood up to ask what he was doing, but that was the time that he got out of his bedroom, wearing his usual outfit. Skin tight leather pants, blue sparkly top, and boots._

"_Ready?" I ask him._

"_Yeah."_

_Here we are, standing in front of Alec's room, Magnus and I._

_I kept persuading Magnus to open the door, but he won't budge. "Clarissa, maybe it is safe if we go back."_

"_You're a coward, Magnus." I taunted him._

"_I am not." He stomped his boots._

_I was about to retort back when we heard shuffling from the other side of the door and barely audible footsteps._

"_Let's go, Clarissa." Magnus said, walking past me._

_I grabbed his shirt to stop him from running away, and he kept telling me to let go when Alec's bedroom door opened, revealing a disheveled Alec._

_At this point, Magnus stopped trying to walk away when he caught sight of Alec. Blood-shot eyes, tear stains on his cheeks, hair messy, and sad looking eyes staring at him._

"_Magnus," he whispered. An acknowledgement._

"_Alexander," Magnus replied, looking away._

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_Clarissa—"_

_I cut him off. "He wanted to talk to you, Alec."_

"_No, I didn't!" Magnus exclaimed._

"_You—didn't want to see me?" Alec asked, his eyes glassy._

"_No, I wanted to see you!" Magnus said, shrugging out of my hold then walking over to Alec. He hugged him tight. "I wanted to see you! So much, Alexander."_

_Alec began crying. "I missed you. I missed you so much, Magnus. Please, please don't do that again. I'll forgive you, just don't leave me."_

"_I won't. Promise."_

_Fifteen minutes later, I was saying goodbye to Magnus and Alec when Alec ran up to me and hugged me tightly. He whispered in my ear. "Thanks, Clary. This means a lot to me. Visit us tomorrow, okay?"_

_I hug him back. "I'll come over tomorrow. It's Christmas. Make sure that Magnus will be a holding a party, kay?"_

_He chuckled. "Of course. Oh how I love his parties." He muttered sarcastically while he stopped hugging me._

"_See you tomorrow, Alec, Magnus." I called out to them when I was walking out the door._

"_Thank you, Clarissa." Magnus called back._

_So, another problem solved. Two of my friends happy again._

_But I couldn't help but wonder..._

_When am I going to be happy?_

_Clary_

**/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/**

**Alec**

I was sitting in the chair that Jace previously sat at. Magnus persuaded the others to go down to the cafeteria while I volunteered to watch Clary. Jace was reluctant at first when Magnus reminded him that Clary wouldn't be happy if they didn't eat and stayed there, worrying.

Hearing that, Jace said yes and followed the others out.

When I was sure that they were gone, I took hold of Clary's hand, sobbing quietly.

"Clary, wake up, okay. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me the most. I'm sorry if I didn't notice that you were sad. I'm sorry that I didn't get to help you get through life because I was so wrapped up in my happy bubble." I paused to wipe my tears. "Clare-bear, you need to wake up. I don't know what will happen to us if you didn't. It sounds so selfish, doesn't it? I want you to wake up so that us all would be alright. But it's not that. Clary, Jace is here. He knows, I know, we all know what you're going through before. And I promise, Clary, that I'll be there for you from now on. You're a sister to me, you're so special to everybody that I so sure if you leave us, we'll drift apart. That counts Magnus and me, too. Despite us being married.

"Because we love you, Clary. I know that we didn't make you feel that before, but we do. You're a great person. So you need to wake up. Please. I beg of you."

I laid my heads on the mattress of Clary's bed, sobbing quietly.

**Isabelle**

I heard every single thing that Alec said.

And I decided that I should get out to see Clary. To see the extent of her... sadness.

And I did, once I got out. I saw all the jagged cuts on her arms. The bandage on her head and the machines that she was hooked up to.

Hearing me get out, Alec looked up. He was still crying, like me.

I ran over to him and hugged him. "I don't want her to leave us, Izzy. Because I still want to help her. I can't lose another one of my family."

"I don't want that either. I'm scared, Alec. SO scared. I don't want Clary to... leave us for good. Because I'm sure that I am not going to take it well. Because she's my sister. My precious best friend. We should have helped her, right? I should have stopped her from driving out when there's a storm." I looked at Clary and put my hand on top of Alec's. "Clary, you cannot give up. You have a wonderful life in front of you. Because if you leave, you're not leaving the pain, too. You're only going to pass it to us. Your family. So please, Clary. Don't leave us. We love you so much."

And we sat there, Alec and I. Crying for our precious redhead friend.

...

...

...

...

**Clary: *Blows nose* this chapter is so sad!**

**Izzy: *Wipes tears* I know, right. Kylie still sad.**

**Clary: Yeah.**

**Izzy: What's her problem, by the way.**

**Clary: Who knows.**

**Izzy: Mm'hmm. R&R, maybe that'll make Kylie stop crying.**

**Clary: Maybe...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Kylie: *grins like a madman* Well... here's chapter four! Hope ya'll like it... though I am disappointed by the lack of reviews from the last chapter.**

**Jace: Because the last chapter sucks...**

**Kylie: Nu'uh. And how would you know...? You told me before that you won't read my fan-fics!**

**Jace: *shuts up and looks away***

**Kylie: *grins wider* You read it! Oh-My-Effin-Gosh-Jace-Lightwood-read-my-story!**

**Clary: *walks in licking an ice cream* Huh? What'd you say?**

**Kylie: *Still squealing***

**Clary: *looks at Jace* What's the matter with her? Last time she was moping like an idiot... this time she's squealing as if she's insane...**

**Jace: *shrugs* Iono... maybe she's gone insane? Last time she was a little bit crazy... but this time, I think she lost it. Maybe we should call a Mental Hospital.**

**Clary: Maybe...**

**Kylie: *stops squealing and looks pointedly at the Golden Haired idiot that is a HOTTIE!* You two are ganging up on me. And for your information, Clary, I would just like to tell you that Jace read my story...**

**Clary: *cuts Kylie off by raising a hand then stares at Jace, mouth agape.* Y-y-you read Kylie's Fan-fics? By the Angel, *reaches up then touches Jace's forehead* Jace, baby, are you sick? Want me to make Alec call Magnus and make him treat you?**

**Kylie: *bites bottom lips to stop from laughing so hard***

**Jace: *takes Clary's hand from his forehead then glares at Kylie—then stares back at Clary and smiles* Clary, honey, I am not sick...**

**Clary: Then how come you read Kylie's story? You mentioned to us before that you would never read it.**

**Jace: *shrugs nonchalantly* I was bored...**

**Kylie: Right... Like I'll believe you...**

**Jace: Watch it... you're younger than me.**

**Kylie: So?**

**Jace: I can make your life a living hell... here.**

**Kylie: So? I'll just call Adrian.**

**Clary: Adrian?**

**Kylie: Yes, Adrian. My boyfriend.**

**Jace: *smirks* Boyfriend?**

**Kylie: Yes.**

**Jace: You... Have... A... Boyfriend?**

**Kylie: Yes.**

**Jace: I am so going to tell your brother...**

**Kylie: I don't care.**

**Jace: *gulps a huge amount of air then opens mouth...***

**Kylie: *puts hands over Jace's mouth* Don't you dare do it, Lightwood. I CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL... MAYBE I SHOULD BURN YOU IN THIS STORY... OR BETTER YET, MAKE CLARY DUMP YOU—THEN DATE SEBASTIAN!**

**Jace: *takes Kylie's hands off his mouth then glares at the younger kid *ehem* teenager* You wouldn't dare...**

**Kylie: Oh, I will.**

**Jace: Fine. I won't tell your brother that his little sister is dating someone...—**

**Clary: By the way, Kylie, how old is Adrian?**

**Kylie: He's nineteen**

**Clary: Wha—that's three years older than you!**

**Kylie: So? Magnus is centuries older than Alec. And yet, it doesn't bother you. And people say that height doesn't matter—let alone age.**

**Magnus: *suddenly pops in, holding a mumbling Alec by the arm* Let's not talk about my age shall we? And get on with the story? Because I miss my NORMAL Alec. I don't want this depressed one.**

**Kylie: *shrugs* Whatever... Magnus, may you give us the honor of doing the disclaimer?**

**Magnus: Of course I'll give you the honor, silly. I am quite magnificent.**

**Jace: Oh would you shut it and do the disclaimer so I can read what this idiot typed out this time.**

**Kylie: Yay! Jace will read this Chapter, too!**

**Jace: Why you little—**

**Magnus: Oh would you shut it. You bicker like a married couple. No offense, Clarissa.**

**Clary: None taken.**

**Magnus: Very well *clears throat* Our dear friend Kylie her doesn't own us... because if she did, I would never see my normal Alec again.**

**Magnus: Happy with that, Kylie?**

**Kylie: Very.**

...

...

...

...

**Clary**

I was surrounded by darkness. I can't even see my outstretched hand.

The only source of light I get at was pictures. Pictures being shown to me.

Who were these people in the pictures?

Do I know them?

What's their relationship to me?

I kept looking at the photos and noticed that they ranged from childhood to adulthood.

And I keep seeing a blonde haired boy with... strange—yet captivating gold eyes.

Do I know him?

What is his relationship to me?

Friend? Family?

And better yet, will he save me?

Save me from this darkness?

Save me from these feelings?

The feeling of being Sad.

Alone.

Abandoned.

Frustrated.

Hurt.

Melancholic.

It may seem that a cyclone entered my body.

A strong one, at that.

It was as if it was entering like nothing. As if it was normal.

And yet, when it leaves, it leaves everything in ruin. Nothing was secured anymore.

Only detached.

And it was unfixable.

It hurts.

Hurts so bad.

Anymore time here, and I will want to rip my arms and legs out.

That's the feeling I get. To be exact.

So, mister Gold—will you save me?

Please?

Please, I beg of you.

I'd do anything.

Just take me away from this place.

From the darkness.

From these unbearable feelings.

Because I can't take it anymore.

Don't make me suffer any longer or I just might die.

So, will you? Save me, I mean?

|**Jace: What the hell? It was as if Clary doesn't remember me! Magnus: Oh will you shut up and let the story continue? I'm already liking this part. So Shut-The-Fuck-Up. Jace: *really shuts up* Magnus: Thank God he shut up!|**

**Jace**

It's been a month since the accident.

It's been a month since I last talked to Clary.

It's been a month since all of us felt normal.

Because now, not one of us even feel anything close to normal.

Even if I didn't ask Magnus, Simon, Alec, and Isabelle I knew that each one of us is feeling remorse. Simply put it that we were ashamed of ourselves.

Alec, Isabelle, and I had gone into some kind of depression.

With Alec's case, Magnus told me all about it.

He said that Alec didn't do anything. That every time they go home to Magnus', Alec will go straight to their room, changing into his night clothes and then lying down on the bed.

And even in the middle of the night, he would hear Alec whimpering, calling out Clary's name from time to time.

And when morning comes, he would freshen up, and wait in the living room for Magnus to finish whatever business he was doing. He didn't even eat.

Magnus had to force him just to eat a single cookie.

And then they'll head down to the hospital to visit Clary.

It's all the same when they get home again.

Let's just put it that this is becoming Alec's new schedule.

Visit Clary. Go home. Be forced by Magnus to do something. Visit Clary.

I was worried for him.

What about Isabelle, you ask?

Well, let's just say that when Alec is on the first end of a rope... Isabelle is on the other.

Meaning, she is not acting like a zombie.

More like a drug addict.

Lunatic.

And especially—bipolar.

You name it.

Simon 'told' me **|Magnus: *snorts* More like blamed him... Jace: Shut it, Maggy... Magnus: Whatever, Goldilocks.| **that every time they get home Isabelle go into the KITCHEN and throw around three or four plates. And sometimes, she takes it out on the windows in the kitchen. She even broke two chairs already. Simon was worried that by the time it's been a two months, their whole house would be ruined.

But more importantly, he's worried about her...

After all her tantrum cause the kitchen, she'll go into the bathroom and stay there for an hour, bawling her eyes out. And crying out Clary's name. Then, when she gets out, Simon had to hold onto her arm, just to keep her from falling on the way to their bedroom.

Because she was exhausted.

Morning comes and Isabelle would be walking around the kitchen, as if nothing happened. She'd prepare breakfast... talk to Simon, but when Simon says they had to go...

Her personality morphs into something else.

It was freaking him out.

It's her new ritual or something.

Visit Clary. Go home. Ruin the kitchen. Bawling in the bathroom. Getting out and making Simon help her go into their bedroom. Wake up in the morning as if nothing happened the night before. Simon telling her it's time to go. The sudden morphing of her happy personality into something dark. Visit Clary. Go home.

It's goes round and round.

And me?

Well, let's just say that Alec's apartment had to be temporarily closed down. Because it needs fixing.

I'm surer than anyone that you know why.

You see?

Without Clary there for us... We're all a wreck.

She's some sort of medicine for us.

To keep us sane. Sane and working.

But now... we're going insane.

Yeah.

Scary.

**XOXO-Adrian 3 Kylie-XOXO**

_July 8, 2011_

_Diary,_

_Today is Jon's funeral. I stood there as they buried his coffin, Alec and Magnus standing at either sides of me, glancing at me from time to time, as if to check if I'm still there, standing. Working._

_And I was._

_There, I mean._

_I was standing, too._

_But working?_

_I don't know about that._

_In fact, I don't know a lot things._

_I don't know why I'm weak._

_I don't know why Jon died._

_I don't know why I keep pretending that I'm strong._

_I don't know why I won't—can't cry._

_I don't know why I'm left alone._

_I don't even know if I'm still sane._

_For all I know, I need to be put into an asylum or something._

_Maybe I am already insane. Because a normal person would not admit that maybe he ir she is going insane._

_Because we all know where that leads..._

_Yeap._

_I, Clarissa Prima Morgenstern, admit that the well-known fact (okay, maybe not so well-known) about me being insane is true. Thank you._

_See, Diary? I even have a speech to announce it._

_I'm going insane._

_Oh well, all my life is an insanity._

_So... maybe this should be normal for me, right?_

_Clary_

**XOXO-Kylie 3 Adrian-XOXO**

**Alec**

_Alec._

_Alec._

_Alec._

_Clary whispers as I stand in front of the transparent door._

_Help me, Alec._

_Help me._

_Please, Alec, Help me._

_Clary whimpers as I see cuts forming on her body._

_Alec, why won't you help me?_

_Why, Alec?_

_Clary asks me as blood start to come out of the wounds._

_Alec, it hurts,_

_Hurts so much._

_Clary tells me as more blood ooze out of her wounds._

_Help me please._

_I can't take no more._

_Clary pleads me to do so._

_Am I a bad friend, Alec?_

_Should I have done more to be a good one?_

_Clary inquires me._

_Alec... please, I can't take it anymore._

_It hurts._

_So bad._

_Clary says as her body fell limp._

_I saw it all, and yet, I did nothing._

_I just stood there. Watched her torture._

_I didn't even blink. Let alone cry._

_Alec, please._

"Clary..." I whimper my friend's name as I sat up. Tears welled up in my eyes as soon as I realize it was a dream.

I can't believe it, even in a dream, I couldn't help Clary.

It was just a fucking dream, and yet, I couldn't save my redheaded friend.

"Clary, you were never a bad friend. I'm sorry. Sorry for not being there, Clare-bear." I whisper.

"Alec? Honey, why are you awake?" Magnus's voice rang out in the darkness, I felt him sat up.

I hugged him tightly. "I dreamt about Clary..." I started bawling my heart out. "Magnus, it was so scary. Even in a dream, I couldn't help her. I couldn't save her from being hurt. Ma-Magnus, she asked me if she was a bad friend. I wanted to tell her so badly that she wasn't. But I couldn't. I just stood there! Just stood there, Magnus! Then-then she... died!"

Magnus pulled back gently then wiped my tears away. "Shh, Alec. Don't cry. We all know that Clarissa is a good, er, great friend. She wouldn't want you to cry for her." He pauses to plant a kiss on my forehead. "She would tell you, I quote, 'Alec, stop crying. What did I tell you? Smile. Smile for me, Alec. If you continue crying you'll start to get wrinkly. And then you'll be ugly. Magnus wouldn't want that. Smile, Alec. You're smile is beautiful. Magnus told me it's what caught his heart. So keep catching his heart, Alec. Because you love each other so much. SO just keep smiling.'"

I smiled. "Yeah. She'd definitely say that." I took a deep breath. "Magnus, I miss Clary. I want her to be with us like before. I want everything to go back to normal.

"What if she doesn't make it? Magnus, I couldn't take that. Life without Clary Fray would just be so... wrong. She'll make it, right, Magnus? She wouldn't leave us. She just... can't."

"Alexander. Clarissa is a strong girl. You, of all people, should know that. She'll come back to us, Alec."

**Isabelle**

**Flashback: {(Dream-kind) [Narrated]}**

_The two year old Clary dressed up in a green dress that reached her knee and a green ribbon on her hair ran over to the three year old Isabelle, who was dressed up in a white dress with blue-green polka dots on it and her brown hair gathered in a pony tail, holding a pink shell in hand. It was early morning, nine o'clock to be exact. Both girls were brought over by their mothers to enjoy the sun in the beach._

"_Wook, Izzy, pink shwell!" the girl exclaimed, giving Isabelle the shell._

"_Clary, it's so pretty!" Isabelle said, looking at the pink shell. "Come on, let's go make Mommy and Auntie Jocelyn see it." She, then walked ahead of the smaller girl. Noticing that her smaller friend wasn't following, she looked back._

_What she saw made her cry out._

_There, in front of her was Clary, now older, lying in a pool of blood. "Izzy, you never look back at me. It was like you befriended me because you felt left out by Alec and Jace. Or maybe... you just wanted to get Simon."_

"_It was as if you never treated me as a friend." Clary murmured, closing her eyes._

"_No, Clary, I befriended you because I wanted to be your friend! I wanted us to be close! I even asked your mother if I could have you as a sister!_

_I'm sorry, Clary. I'm sorry for not looking back. I'm sorry for leaving you behind!_

_I love you, Clary. You were the sister I never had!_

_You were there for us when Max died._

_You were there for us when dad was about to leave us._

_Hell, you were even there when Alec told our parents that he was gay!_

_I could never think of a single memory without you! So don't think that! You're my sister! My sister! So please. Clary, come back to us."_

_Isabelle didn't notice it but she had her eyes closed and was crying. She finally knew this and opened her eyes. A three year old Clary was in front of her. She crouched down so they could meet eye contact properly._

_The little Clary wrapped her oh so small arms around Isabelle's neck and cried._

"_Scared. So scared, Izzy. They're leaving me. Pwease don't leave me. Pwease, Izzy?" she pulled back and looked at the older girl she was hugging with green orbs that were slowly losing their sparkle._

"_I won't, Clary. I'm here. And I won't leave you. Don't leave me, too, okay, Clary? I already miss you, so please come back."_

"_Goodbye, Izzy. I love you. Go back to normal, okay?"_

_Then, the redhead girl that was a friend of Isabelle Lightwood disappeared. But if you listen closely, a girl child's voice was heard in a distance._

Opening her eyes, Isabelle whispered. "Clary, I miss you." She stretched her arms and felt the space beside her, where her husband was supposed to be, was empty.

She sat up and walked out of the room. Heading over to the living room where the light was open, she saw Simon there, talking on his phone.

She went to sit down on the couch in front of him and waited till he was finish.

He finally closed his phone then looked at her, smiling.

"Izzy..."

**Jace**

_I stood in front of a window of a room. The room held my beloved redhead friend, Clary. She was chained to the walls, her green eyes staring off into space. Chanting my name again and again._

_I was well aware of the fact that she had deep wounds on her petite frame._

_Suddenly, I watched as she was burned in fire._

_Drowned in water._

_Cut by a saw in half._

_And yet, she didn't stop from calling my name._

_Jace... Am I selfish? Selfish for loving you even though you have a wife?_

_Jace... Am I cruel? For not being a better friend to you or the others?_

_Jace... Am I useless? I should have thought about using route 63 before you told me and picked you up sooner._

_Jace... please forgive me. Forgive me from being a burden._

_Jace... listen to me, okay?_

_Jace... I love you._

_I smiled. I smiled so widely as I heard those three words._

_The scene changed. Clary was standing in front of me in a beautiful emerald dress. But she wasn't smiling, she was crying._

_Jace... Help me._

_Jace... Please._

_Jace!_

_Jace!_

_Jace... please, it hurts. So bad._

_Please._

_Clary. I'll be here when you wake up._

_I won't make you hurt anymore._

_I'll help you._

_Save you._

_I love you._

_Clary smiled and touched my cheeks._

"_Jace, smile. Smile for me."_

I woke up and touched my cheeks. I was crying. Sitting up in the recliner, I held my head in my hands.

"Clary, I'm sorry."

...

...

"Um..." I small voice rang out. I looked up from my hands and stared at Clary.

Immediately standing up, I walked over to her bed. "You're awake. Clary... thank the Angel you're awake!" I exclaimed, gently wrapping my arms around her.

"Um, excuse me, but... who are you?"

And I felt my world shatter...

...

...

...

...

**Kylie: Woo Hoo! And that's a wrap!**

**Jace: What**

**Magnus: The**

**Jace and Magnus: *looks at Kylie* FUCK?**

**Kylie: Is there something wrong with the story?**

**Jace: You—Clary—me!**

**Clary: That doesn't make any sense.**

**Kylie: True that.**

**Clary: Please... as we try to calm down the idiot and Magnus, R&R...**

**Kylie: Clary. Maybe I should change the rating? Tell me if I should move it up a notch. Maybe rated M?**

**\/**

**Press the Smexy Blue Button! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Kylie: …**

**Jace: …**

**Clary: …**

**Alec: …**

**Isabelle: …**

**Simon: …**

**Magnus: … What the fuck? Why is it so quiet in here?**

**(Jace, Clary, Alec, Isabelle, and Simon): Shh!**

**Magnus: Why should I?**

**Clary: Kylie's studying.**

**Magnus: Studying? Studying what?**

**Isabelle: Math**

**Magnus: Ah, the infamous Math. I hate it, too.**

**Simon: Same,**

**Kylie: No, no, no, you go it all wrong, Jace! X isn't supposed to be 4!**

**Jace: Hey, that one's right! Check my solution.**

**Alec: Actually, Jace, you misread the problem, it's 14—not 4.**

**Jace: Why are we even helping you? You should be the one studying that.**

**Kylie: But I don't wanna!**

**Alec: Then what do you want?**

**Kylie: I want to know why Math was even invented! Wah! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!**

**(Alec, Jace, Isabelle, Clary, Simon, and Magnus sweat drop)**

…

**I do not own TMI because as you can see, I am not Cassandra Clare. And I hate Math, that's final! **

_**Recap:**_

"_**Um, excuse me, but… who are you?"**_

_**And I felt my world shatter…**_

…

…

…

…

**Jace**

"Um, okay, so you're Jace and you're Alec." Clary said in a small voice, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"Clary, you got it wrong again. That's Magnus. And I'm Jace." I replied.

"Oh, okay. So, you're Jace?"

"Yes, Clary, he's Jace. The idiotic blonde." Magnus said from his seat beside Alec on the ground.

"Oh, so you're Jace. The idiotic blonde?" said Clary.

"Clary, you don't have to always repeat what we say," I told her.

"Oh, so, I don't have to always repeat what you say?"

"Clary…"

And just then, Clary's hospital door opened and revealed a frantic Isabelle. "Is it true? Is Clary finally awake?" she exclaimed, moving her eyes around.

Clary flinched at the sound of her voice.

"Izzy, you need not to be so loud. We are all in the same room. Not in different mountains." Simon's voice said as he appeared behind Isabelle.

"But-Clary's awake!"

Clary flinched again.

"Isabelle, keep quiet, Clary's awake and she's fine. Although I think you're voice scared the crap out of her." Alec told his younger sister from his place.

"Fine, fine. I'll try to be quiet." She said, walking over to the bed and sitting on it. "Heya, Clary. How are you?"

Clary's brow furrowed yet again.

"Um… who are you again?"

"Oh… right, you don't remember anything…" Isabelle started; Clary's head tilted a bit. "I'm your best friend, Isabelle."

"You're my best friend, Isabelle?"

I stepped in, "Clary, I told you not to repeat everything we said."

"I am not going to repeat anything you said?"

"Clary…"

"I'm confused…"

"Okay… don't worry that little red head of yours. Let's just keep a tab on everyone's name, shall we?" I paused when she nodded. "Okay, I'm Jace, the sparkly guy in the ground is Magnus, the guy with the ratty, old sweater" I put up a hand as Alec looked like he was going to retort something. "is his boyfriend, Alec, the girl that just came in is Isabelle, Alec's sister, and the guy with him that looks like a rat is Simon, got it?"

Her brow furrowed. "Um, let's see, you're Jace, the idiotic blonde," Lewis and Magnus snickered when she said that, but I didn't try to stop Clary from talking. "Alec is the sparkly guy and Magnus is the one who is in the ratty, old sweater, Isabelle is Simon's sister and Simon is your husband…?"

"No, no. Magnus is me—the one in glitters, and Alexander here is the one in the… old sweater. Isabelle is Simon's _wife _and Jace is not married… to Simon." Magnus said.

"But who's Alexander?"

I sighed. "Why can't you call Alec-Alec? Why do you call him Alexander?" I asked him.

"Jace is right, Manus. Alexander makes me sound old."

"But Alexander is your name, is it not? Alec is only a nickname."

"Um, excuse me…" a voice rang out from the door of the room, all of our heads snapped up to look at the new comer. It was a nurse.

"I believe that Clary here needs to take her medicine… she's looking a little pale…" She started. And I turned around to look at Clary. She was right, her skin was a contrast of her red hair.

"Um, okay. I guess we exerted her a little bit…" I said, standing up from my seat beside Clary's bed to let the nurse walk closer to Clary.

…

After about five minutes, the nurse told us not to exert Clary, then left.

…

…

…

**Alec**

Even though Clary doesn't remember me, or any of us, I feel happy. Because even though she can't remember all the memories that contain us all—she was awake. We were assured that she wouldn't leave us… permanently.

Some people would have been shocked when I said this, you know why?

Because the first time I met Clary… I despised her. To the core. Because let's just say I had a little crush on Jace back then. And Jace was paying more attention to her than me.

Funny, isn't it?

That the girl I hate… I came to love as a younger sister.

…

…

…

**Magnus**

I couldn't believe when I heard that Clarissa woke up. It was such a joy to have our red head friend back.

And to have a smile on my Alexander's depressed face.

She really has changed all of us.

Even me.

Thank You… _Clary._

…

…

…

**Isabelle**

Clary is alive.

I couldn't contain my tears when I heard that.

My little red head friend… you came back.

And I'll make sure you won't ever leave us.

I promise you, Clary.

I Love You, my dear best friend.

…

…

…

**Simon**

Thank Goodness… you're awake, Clary.

I missed you.

Don't ever leave us again.

I don't think anyone of us could take the pain that will come with it.

You know, Clary, I love you.

Thanks for everything…

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**Magnus: I feel… discontent. It was like something was missing in this chapter.**

**Isabelle: I agree.**

**Simon: *shrugs* well, you can't blame Kylie. With the amount of schoolwork she's been doing the past week, it was expected.**

**Magnus: Well, she did forget to post this chapter after she was done.**

**Isabelle: And it was two weeks late.**

**Simon: By the way, where's Clary, Alec, Kylie, and douchebag?**

**Kylie: (very distant voice) Hey! Don't take about me behind my back!**

**Isabelle: Where are you guys?**

**Jace: (still very distant) in Kylie' room. You guys should see the amount of books she has in here. There're many of them!**

**Magnus: Will do, Goldilocks.**

**Isabelle: I guess you guys should R&R so maybe next time Kylie won't forget to update a new chapter.**

**Simon: Yeah.**

**Magnus: *claps his hands* Well, people, that's a wrap!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Kookie: It's been so long, I am so sorry! I had so much schoolwork to do! Please forgive me! This is just a short chappie about how the "new" Clary thinks of the gang.**

**R&R people. R&R.**

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**I do not own TMI or any of its characters.**

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**Clary**

It was fun being with Jace and the others. Especially Jace. Even though I don't know them, I feel at ease. Is that even possible?

They took turns taking care of me. Last week was Isabelle and her husband Simon. This week was Alec and Magnus. Then Next week was Jace.

It was fun when Alec and Magnus took care of me. They're so funny.

But I feel giddy when Jace was there. I don't know why though.

The doctor advised that I should keep a diary.

Isabelle bought me one. It was green. She said the color was like my eyes.

Isabelle was so nice. Although I got scared of her the first time I saw her. She was so loud.

Simon was nice, too. But he does look scary at first.

I absolutely adore Magnus! He's so funny and nice. And he's so sparkly. And I love his eyes. They're like cat eyes.

Alec was the complete opposite of Magnus, albeit they're married. He always wears dark colored sweaters. But he's really nice.

And Jace… he has wonderful eyes. Like gold. The way he smiles… the way he talks…

Okay, that's forbidden territory, Clary. He's married.

I saw his ring.

Sad.

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**Kookie: Okay, wait a sec. *pulls out garbage lid* you can throw me tomatoes now! I know it's really, and do I mean really short. But I'm currently working on the real new chappie atm. So chill. But please review! I really am having a hard time writing the new chapter. So I need ideas!**

**:3**

**Sincerely,**

**Kookie 3**


	7. Chapter 7

_Dear Diary,_

_I don't know why my Daddy committed suicide. I don't know why he left me and Jon alone. What I only know is that I feel numb. Why would Daddy leave us? Momma already left us, why him, too?_

_Maybe I've been a bad daughter?_

_Maybe I didn't get good grades?_

_Maybe I didn't really follow my Daddy's orders?_

_Why did you leave us, Daddy?_

_Jon's not talking to me. He stays locked up in his room._

_Maybe he's blaming me?_

_Am I really that horrid?_

_Daddy, come back, please?_

_Don't let my brother suffer._

_Clary._

**O.o Derp o.O**

**Jace**

_Jace,_

_Please, baby. Don't file this divorce. I can't live without you._

_Is this all about your shitty little friend? Cherry? Carrie?_

_Forget about her, I'm your wife._

_Come back, Jace._

_I need you._

_Aline._

I stared at the letter in my hand that I read for plenty of times now. How dare she insult Clary?

I crumpled up the paper and stuffed it in my bedside drawer.

Jesus, that woman, the time will come when I will be so fed up that I may slap the fuck out of her. Insulting Clary through a letter, what kind of horrible person does that?

I stayed up in my angry little bubble until I heard a knock.

What the-?

I glanced at my clock. 12:56? Who the hell is wakes up another person four minutes before one a.m.?

Well, I'm not really sleeping and all, but, yeah.

I stood up and gritted my teeth. I swear, if this is goddamn Isabelle trying to annoy the fuck out of me I will seriously—

I stared at the person in front of me.

"Clary? What are you doing up?"

"I—um, I had a bad dream… and the thunder's bothering me. Isabelle's not in her room…"

I took hold of her hand and led her inside. "You can stay here. I'll sleep on the floor."

"N-no. it's alright if I sleep on the floor. It'd be a bother if you did."

I sighed. I made her lie down on the bed and then I lied down next to her. "S'fine like this?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Yeah,"

I smiled. "Go to sleep, Clare. You have another check-up tomorrow."

But I think she didn't really hear me, because she was already fast asleep.


	8. AN

**A/N:**

Okay, I know that you guys are complaining that the chapters are so short and usually take so long. I'm sorry about that.

It's just that school's very, and do I mean very stressing at the moment. But I made a resolution.

Even though I know that it's not even New Year's yet.

I'll try—_will_ update every Saturday, and if I get lucky, or maybe get some inspiration, I'd update on a Friday, with a hopefully long chapter.

Again, I am very sorry about everything.

And, I'll being removing this once I update the chapters.

Lots of Love,

Kookie :3


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